Sunday, October 23, 2011

Introducing a new guest blogger: JUSTICE

I'd like to introduce everyone to an amazing artist, poet, and designer - my daughter Justice. She has volunteered to be a guest writer on this blog, so you may hear from her time to time.

Death is not a subject we avoid or step on eggshells around in our household. We've had many discussions about it, and she is also willing to fill in and help write for me if/when there comes a time that I am no longer able to. It is my wish to document everything that happens right up to the last possible moment. More importantly, hearing what life is like from her point of view and her thoughts in general should be enlightening.

I've really learned a lot about my daughter during this last bout with illness. She showed a side of herself that I've always known was there, but it still moved me so deeply to have her really step up the way that she did. There were a couple times in particular that I don't know how I would have made it through the night without her help.


Truthfully, my illness at this point is kind of a pain in the ass to some people close to me. I can't blame them. If you are sick long enough it is inevitable that you will become a burden, even to those with the best intentions. It just gets old. I understand that and have learned to accept it. On top of that, facing terminal illness also makes everyone's true colors come out. People that you assumed would be there for you might all be M.I.A.. But then others, maybe a distant friend you haven't seen for years will go far out of their way to spend some time with you or support you in some way. It's always surprising.

Considering what a drag it is for a teenager especially, to be stuck in the position of part-time caregiver, Justice is an amazing anomaly. She jokes around when emptying my catheter each morning and evening. She calls or text messages me during her breaks at school to make sure I am OK. If she catches me over-exerting myself in the wheelchair, she scolds me and takes over. I often feel bad at night, when I know she is very tired but I still need help being put to bed--which is a quite a process using a Hoyer lift that has to be pumped by hand, putting on my heel boots, straightening out my spine, making sure my reacher tool, oxygen and various paraphernalia is on hand. It doesn't take all that long once accustomed to it, but it is tedious all the same.

Justice has a very bright future ahead and I hope that any friends who care about me, will also come together to help my daughter down the road with opportunities, mentoring and support. She is part of me that will live and carry on in the world. I hope to stay as long as possible to be part of it.

4 comments:

  1. I have always wanted to get to know your children as well as you, but thought it might cross a very crucial boundary. I'm so happy to help welcome Justice to this journal. <3

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  2. Wow, Dominique... she has grown into such a beautiful young lady! <3 Katana

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  3. She, like her mother, is absolutely stunning. I look forward to her contributions to your journal. <3 Goddess Chal

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  4. Good and another post from you admin :)
    I hope to visit my Site : Ancient Egyptian Art

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